Hi! Want to find out what happened on ANTM this week? Let's do this!
What did we learn about Tyra this week?
Not much. She's still wearing those dreadful suspenders (this week: skinny leather).
Tyra informs us that SNL once did an ANTM parody where they were mocking Tyra. Apparently it was "hilarious" and they went from Tyra over-enunciating her catch phrases like "here is your best shot" to Tyra's version of keepin' it real ("wooo wooo yeah, gurl, you better work it. It's fieeeeeeerce"). I watched it, and Maya Rudolph is a way better Tyra than Tyra.
Tyra also informs us about her new copywrited word this cycle: the booty tooch™. A booty tooch is essentially what your bum does when you arch your back. That is hopefully the last time I will have to write about this particular Tyra-ism.
Did anything else happen this week?
We being the episode with Isis telling us about her star quality. Dum de dum dum dummmmmm! Alison gives a weird speech with her hand over her mouth. It's strange.
Kristin Cavallari comes for a visit! I have a soft spot for her as she was pretty fantastic on Laguna Beach back in the day. I bet she's fun to hang out with. Plus, she's gorgeous and doesn't look like she's had mega plastic surgery unlike those other Hills ladies. Kristin is there to tell the girls that they are going to have haters no matter what they do, so it's best to just accept it and embrace their success. Fair enough. I wonder why Tyra didn't feel like delivering this lesson herself? She totally has like 100 times as many haters as Kristin Cavalleri!
Challenge! The girls are greeted by Nigel Barker at The Grove in downtown LA. They are going to be tested on how well they answer the "tough questions". They will work in groups and will be interviewed by this winner...
Mario is so gross and smarmy! Team 1 is up first. Lisa seems fake. Isis does well and seems calm. Angelea gives an intelligent sounding answer. Lisa keeps giving the other girls weird high fives, which is distracting and annoying even though she likely means well. An audience member asks Alexandria why she puts on such a tough exterior with the other contestants. Alexandria starts off responding well, but gets interrupted by Lisa.
Team 2 is up! Mario asks Bianca if fans are seeing the real her, and she responds by talking about "word vomit". She gets a buzzer noise from the hilarious ANTM sound editors. Mario then asks Allison why she's there if modelling isn't her number one priority. She doesn't miss a beat and talks about how much modelling helps her with her other artistic pursuits. She gets a ding! An audience member asks Kayla if she is still uncomfortable working with male models. Kayla uses her spirit word from last week twice in her answer, so I guess she does well?
Nigel critiques Lisa for jumping in when the other girls were talking and tells Angelea that she needs to show her personality and be less conservative. Angelea finds this critique "fustrating". She is all about being professional, y'all! Nigel tells Bianca to stop talking about vomit and critiques Kayla for using her spirit word, telling her that "any one word is multi-faceted". At least he didn't tell her that being a lesbian is so 5 years ago, like Tyra's brand expert from last week.
 |
| Sorry Jane Lynch, you are so yesterday... |
Whatever, I'm not going to get on there and be all "uhh, yeah, yeah" okay, 'cause you want me to be this ghetto bitch, that's what I'm a be in an interview. No. I know how to conduct myself, bitch, I worked at a bank. I worked at a bank. You think I was talking like this at a bank?Those fellas working at the Key Bank in the Walden Galleria are so proud of their girl Angelea! I'm sure they toasted to her at their Thursday night happy hour drinking session at PF Chang's this week...during the intermission of the Sabres game, obvo.
Photo shoot! The Tyra Mail is about long legs, and the girls think automatically there will be spiders or giraffes at the shoot. Nope...just stilts. My pals that I was watching with immediately called out the copycat-ness of this shoot, as it's already been done on the most recent seasons of Project Runway and Australia's Next Top Model. Anywho, it still beats eating hotdogs. Each of the challenge losers is paired with a challenge winner. The photographer is Alexandria's doppelganger. If only she'd been wearing a bonnet!
The photo shoot is mega boring, save for a funny stilts dance courtesy of Isis.
We also find out that Bre looks aaaaaammaaaaaaaazing in Steve Urkel's glasses. She is super cute.
We see the girls getting ready for panel, and we get more awesomeness from Isis. As she's putting on her hat to complement her cute black dress, she says: "oh my god! I'm going to look like Black Swan!" Love, love, love.
Panel! I just realized this week that they've quit it with the fake "backstage" shots of the judging panel this season. Dommage. Kristin Cavallari is our guest judge this week, and I'm super excited it's not Mario Lopez.
The judges like Alexandria & Shannon's photo. My bff, Andre Leon Talley, thinks their photo is soooo Lady Gaga. The judges love their shot. Angelea and Allison are up next, but before they show the photo Angelea asks Nigel to explain the critique he gave her at the Extra challenge. She doesn't go all ghetto on him as she said she would earlier, but I like that she spoke up about being confused by him telling her to be silly in an interview situation. Nigel tells her that he loves her personality and wanted to see it in the interview. The judges like the photo but think Allison did better than Angelea because she did a you-know-what-beginning with a t to her you-know-what beginning with a b.
ALT loves the photo of Dominique and Kayla, and commands it be hung in his salon. He must have a huge salon, as it already has many other ANTM photos in there. Kristin doesn't love the photo because Dominique looks like she's pulling on her hair. The judges don't like Camille and Isis' photo. Camille makes some excuse about trying to dance like at Trinidadian Carnival, but Tyra isn't having it. It's totally a bad sign that they picked a photo of Isis just standing, when we saw her doing tons of leg lifts and movement during the shoot. Laura and Bre's photo is well received and called elegant. Wanda Sue gets yet another shout out for another awesome panel outfit for Laura. Lisa and Bianca get a great critique, but Nigel asks Lisa if she ever gets her photo taken with her legs closed.
Deliberation! In honour of the spirit words given to the girls last week, I'm going to distill the judges' critiques to one (or 2) word(s) per contestant:
Shannon = safe
Allison = feelin' it
Kayla = locked up
Bianca = strong
Bre = lacking smize
Camille = least favourite
Alexandria = forehead
Angelea = weak
Dominique = memorable
Isis = pretty
Laura = fashion
Lisa = authentic
Photos in Tyra's hands! Allison has best picture, and Alexandria is called first from the losing group. Angelea and Isis are in the bottom 2 and Isis gets the boot. This makes no sense to me. Not only was Isis one of the strongest competitors, but she is smart, elegant, fun and funny. She would have made a great correspondent on Extra. I personally think that she got eliminated this week because the producers want Bianca to win and Isis was too strong of a competitor. Isis, you are awesome, a great model and a great role model. I hope you have lots of future success!
Next week: CSI! Medical Emergency! Yikes!
One quick note before I finish up: a bunch of blogs this week reported that Kelly Cutrone will be replacing ALT next cycle on ANTM. This is, frankly, ridiculous. I love ALT and agree he is way too fantastic to be stuck on ANTM for any more cycles. I also am a big fan of Kelly Cutrone, so her joining the judges' panel is terrible news. Tyra doesn't have the best track record of playing nice with strong and intelligent female judges (remember Janice? or Twiggy? or Paulina?). I hope for Kelly's sake that she changes her mind before Cycle 18 starts filming, mainly so she won't have to deal with Tyra's Tyra-ness at all. You're better than that, Kelly!
My pick to replace ALT would be Christian Siriano. He would be cool with playing along with Tyra's dumb banter, but would call Tyra out on her shenanigans too. If Tyra is set on a lady judge, she should try to get Kelly Osbourne, who has judged a reality show before (Project Catwalk), has fashion knowledge and would tell Tyra where she could put her funny accents.
XOXO,
Emily
Biggest Loser car pulling photo via jalopnik.com
No comments:
Post a Comment