Kids are awesome and moms love their kids...but between the Raffi and the playdates and the nurturing and such, sometimes you need a quick break. Take a breather from the "mom (or dad) zone" for a few minutes. Put the baby in the crib, grab your tea, put your feet up and enjoy!
Yup. The inevitable has happened. I've looked to Degrassi Junior High for my throwback inspiration this week. But how do you choose? So many different styles to pick from: Caitlin's short red hair! Stephanie Kaye's slutty clothes! Lucy's sensuous scarves! Melanie's midi skirts! Spike's punky style! Simon's modelling! And don't even get me started on Nancy...
Bitch, please
The one DJH character that gets lost in the flashy 7th and 8th graders is the one and only Ms Avery!
The hair, the eyebrows, the blush, the colourful jumpsuits...OMG.
She rocks more scarves than even Lucy! Ms Avery (played by Michelle Goodeve) was only in 1 or 2 scenes in most DJH episodes, but she stole the show every time. My hair is nowhere near as long as Ms A's is, but I will for sure be wearing more large hair barrettes in her honour. While it's all about solids in the classroom, when DJH has a dance Ms Avery breaks out the patterns:
Oh la la, Mr. Radich. Gold tie!
So good, but this one is for sure my all-time favourite:
Hair half up in a bun! That's totally going to be the next side-braid for the celebrities. I love the mix of the big print with the statement jewellery and minimal makeup. What a great look to wear out on a Valentine's day date. Well done Ms Avery!
My little peanut Arlo is too busy playing with toys to give y'all any fashion advice this week. I thought I'd try something different instead. Valentine's Day is all about spreading love, so I'm going to do my part and dole out a bit of advice myself. Who better to give fashion advice to than ladies who give out advice for a living! I've chosen a few women who are in the public eye telling people how they should live their lives. I like turning tables.
Style Credentials?
I wear clothes and I'm judgemental.
Let's get to it!
Q: How can Nancy Grace look less mean?
I don't think that Nancy can do much about her scowl or the mean way she yells at people, so let's focus on the pants suits. Nancy tends to dress like a sleazy defence attorney stereotype a lot of the time - all business but slightly seedy. Nancy, if you want to dress like a lawyer, why not take a page out of Markie Post's book and dress like Christine from Night Court? Lots of colour and bigger hair. It will distract from your crazy ramblings. Maybe trade jackets with Suze Orman? Anyways, this 3.1 Phillip Lim cropped blazer is a good start:
You're welcome Nancy!
Q: How can Gail Vaz-Oxlade jazz up her corporate look?
I love, love Gail Vaz-Oxlade and how she yells at ladies for spending too much money on clothes. I'm also petrified to ever meet her. I don't think she'd approve of my tendency to buy overpriced treats for myself, like British gossip magazines and Raincoast Crisps. Gail looks pretty good most of the time. I wouldn't change a thing about her hair or makeup. I would have her play it a bit less safe with her clothing choices every once and awhile. I've noticed that she tends to stick to solids. Why not try some Missoni? P.S. Gail: it's on sale!!!
You're welcome Gail!
Q: Does Delilah need any style advice?
I hope you have heard of Delilah. She's not available in all radio markets, but back when I used to work night shift I (unwillingly) listened to her all the time. She has people write sad letters in to her and then sends out a song to them to help them with their drama. It's like 5 hours of Casey Kasem's long distance dedications from back in the day.
"Dear Delilah, my wife left me for my brother, and then I wasn't allowed to attend my family Christmas celebrations. Save the troops. Love, Sad Jed."
"Oh Sad Jed, stay strong. Think about Jesus. Here is a Train song."
To be honest, I have no idea if Delilah needs style help. My hunch says yes. When I was 19, I spent a summer working at a radio station. All of the on-air talent there needed style help. Sorry for generalizing, but most radio station folks - with the exception of the djs who are also on tv and the sales folks - dress pretty casually at work. I picture Delilah dedicating Celine Dion hits to the masses in cat sweaters and matching stirrup pants. I hope I'm wrong Delilah! Anyways, my advice to her is to dress up fancy for work once and awhile. That way, the people at the radio station will think that Delilah has a mysterious date after work. According to Wikipedia, Delilah hasn't been so lucky in love. Well, Delilah, I'm dedicating this J-Crew dress to you, plus a terrible song. Stay strong.
Ah, romance! Nothing like listening to love songs to get you in the mood for Valentine's Day. I like my love songs either a bit more on the cerebral side, or super cheesy. Gotta get started on a V-day playlist! Here's song 2 (not literally - that's the one Blur song I don't love):
Hey, if my husband calls to ask you what to get me for Valentine's Day, drop the hint that I'd like some Solange Azagury-Partridge jewellery please. Her designs are beautiful and fun...they also don't come cheap. If you're gonna drop serious money on some jewellery, it may as well be unique and good for a chuckle. So yeah, I'll take these drop earrings...and maybe her 3 carat ring too.
May as well throw in this ring too. It's called the "ballcrusher". Loves it!!!
In honour of Valentine's day being next week, I thought I'd select a movie from the Netflix Canada romance section. In amongst the slim pickings, I picked the movie Scenes of a Sexual Nature. If I'm being honest, I picked it because it has Ewan McGregor in it and I figured he'd take his clothes off. He's always all nude in his movies...except this one (spoiler alert). There are some other really good actors in this movie. There must be some sort of geometric curve that depicts the point where too many good actors in one film renders it shit. I should ask my Mom (she's a mathemagician).
Ridiculous Factor?
Not ridiculous exactly...more like headache-inducing and shockingly bad. Ugh.
Verdict?
This movie is the equivalent of a heart shaped box of those disgusting chocolate-covered liqueur cherries...on clearance...in August...that someone has farted on. Did I mention I hated this movie? Avoid, avoid, avoid.
Valentine's day is coming. I am aware that this holiday stresses out pretty much everyone. If you have no one to buy a Garfield card for, you might feel down (don't! go out and have fun!), and if you have a partner you might be scratching your head trying to figure out what to get them. Wonder no more, the best gift of all time for Valentine's day is...lottery tickets. You're welcome.
So, yeah, I think the nicest thing you can do for your sweetheart on Valentine's day is to dress up nice for them. I'm not suggesting to get dolled up like a Desperate Housewife or put on a fancy gown. I just like to look like my best self in honour of St. Valentine and put a bit of effort in.
There is a possibility that you are currently thinking, "Shouldn't we show our love 365 days a year and not just on a day invented by greedy stores"? Sure...but I'm guessing you don't. Even Ziggy on Venus Ave took a day off now and again.
Oh...there will be no advice in this post about sexy underwears or things of that nature. You should know what floats your partner's boat, so stick with what they like. No judgements here. Anyway, here's what I worked out:
The Issues
- want to look good
- do not want to wear anything Valentine-themed (i.e. heart sweater, cupid earrings)
- don't want to go out and buy a new outfit
My Solutions
I've got my outfit and styling all picked out for V-day, but I'm going to keep the details under wraps for now (hint: dress, boots). Here are some tips for getting yourself all done up:
1) Put on some makeup
I'm not talking about doing yourself up like Christina Aguliera or Kim Kardashian or anything. A little bit of makeup goes a long way. It doesn't have to take a long time either. Your valentine will see a difference if you use a little concealer, blush, eyeshadow, mascara and lipgloss. Cash in your Shoppers Optimum points and pick up a few things in the makeup aisle if you don't already have makeup at home. If you don't know how to apply makeup, get some help from Carmindy.
2) Wear something figure flattering
You can dress as casual or as fancy as you'd like, as long as you put on something that makes your figure look dynamite. Flannel does not make you look dynamite, nor do things like harem (zooba) pants. No muffin tops or flub hanging over the top of your bra hooks. Size is irrelevant. You will look fantastic if your clothes fit you well and flatter your shape. British crazy ladies Trinny and Suzanna have lots of tips for dressing according to your shape if you need a hand.
3) Make sure it's clean
This tip will sound gross if you don't have small kids. Pre-peanut, I would change immediately if I spilled something on my outfit. Nowadays, it's pretty common for me to have cereal and/or vegetables in my hair and all over my clothes. I do change if I get baby poop on my clothes, but baby spit-up & baby pee are a bit of a toss-up, dependent on volume. No judgements please. Anyways, if you dress up nice for your sweetie and get baby stuff on you before they get home, you have to change. Best come up with a backup outfit or do a quick load of laundry.
4) Wear a past gift if you can
There has probably been a time in the past where your sweetie has given you an accessory of some sort as a gift: jewellery, scarves, purse, etc. Try to incorporate that into your outfit, to let them know that you appreciate them choosing something for you.
So many folks were ultra-dingusey this week: Charlie Sheen, Halle Berry's ex-boyfriend, Dr. Phil & his show producers, Sammi & Ronny, etc. The list is very long. I had a hard time choosing, so I decided that the dingus of this week is Ke$ha...just because she is gross. That is all.
