It's Not Tyra!!!!! - BINTM7 Week 1

Ummmmmm...guys? I think I made a mistake. I decided to recap Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model, because I've enjoyed the show in the past aaaaaaand...they've changed the format. It's not good. Not at all. This may be my first and only BINTM recap.

The episode starts out with an introduction to the judges. First impressions? Elle looks beautiful as always, except for a terrible Toddlers-And-Tiaras-esque hair piece. Grace is a stylist but has trouble dressing herself (terrible earrings!). Charlie looks like a cute Pet Shop Boy. Then there is Julien McDonald. He looks vile.

Did you ever watch the show from a few years back called Project Catwalk? It was the UK rip-off of Project Runway, and Julien was a judge. I hated his judging. It was like he wrote a bunch of insults in advance (or hired writers) and was mean for the sake of being mean. He was trying to be a meaner Michael Kors, but wasn't keeping any of Kors' charm or his spot-on analogies. Julien is Tom Jones to Kors' Frank Sinatra. I also really am not a fan of Julien McDonald's clothes. He uses a lot of fur, which is not my taste, and seems to design tarty clothes for lame-os like Paris Hilton. Dislike.

But...his 2011 Fall/Winter RTW show wasn't that bad, to be honest. So, yeah, I'm gonna try to keep an open mind about Julien McDonald.

One thing about UK reality shows that I have trouble with is the incessant "coming up" previews during the show. This show is brutal for repeating clips. Brutal! On the other hand, I love that they use pop songs in the background to let us, the audience, know what we should be feeling. They played Take That a bunch in this episode, so that we knew to be happy for the successful girls and sad for the losers.

The judges auditioned girls in Glasgow and in London. I'm not going to bother with too many details, because...who cares? Let's pick the top 12 and get on with things!!! Here's what you need to know:

Wearing a (hopefully faux-fur) gorilla-esque jacket and leather hammer pants is so hot right now.

Wearing a fur hat with a bathing suit? Not hot right now. Snipped!

In London, the casting is done at the Chelsea FC stadium. Grace doesn't care about the girls...she's there for the boys!

Hopefully not this guy!! Cheating on Cheryl?

This girl is the "villain" of the episode. We see a clip of her being overconfident at least 4 times. Plus, they play the Spice Girls song Who Do You Think You Are over the top of her footage. Charlie thinks she looks a bit like Margot Kidder. The judges laugh at her when she leaves, and she doesn't make the cut. The sad Leona Lewis cover of a Snow Patrol song lets us know we should feel bad for her.

"I am a better supermodel than even Tyra Banks"

"Ummm..." (PS - I totally love Grace's reaction shots. She rules.)

I love this girl (Brenda) even though Elle totally pulls a Tyra-move on her and makes her cry while prodding her for information about her past modelling rejections. She's super cute so I hope she makes it to the top group.

Overall, Elle seems fairly down-to-earth in this episode.

Lovely!

Julien? Not so much. So, if I do end up doing some more recaps of the show, I'll definitely be including a feature each week called...

What did we learn about Julien this week?

Julien eats only one piece of melon for lunch as he is on a diet.

Julien likes to steal shiny things.

Julien loves to be condescending! He calls one girl "Turkish Delight" on account of her big boobs (and being Turkish), and talks about how much he looooooooves this girl, because she looks totally different and has a man-body. He loves her confidence. I think she is totally fierce looking, but Julien didn't have to go overboard about how different she looks. She reminds me a bit of Serena Williams, who is a total fashion plate and looks amazing in lots of different looks.

So, that's pretty much it for this week. Next episode? More lame auditions. Since I don't have much to work with, here is a picture of a girl that got cut that I would have enjoyed learning more about. Editors?

XOXO,
Emily

Julien & Paris pic via hollywouldnt.onsugar.com; Ashley Cole pic via chelseafc.com