All bloggers have to post a rant that is not politically correct every once and awhile, yes? Here's mine - I am sick of weirdos thinking it's cool to touch my kid.
My 'lil peanut is a friendly little guy. He loves smiles and smiling, so if you smile at him he will smile back. This is adorable and most people give him a little smile and a wave. I like this and am totally cool with chatting to strangers about my cute little guy. Who doesn't like compliments? Things start to get a bit dodgy when the person gets into my personal space or - surprisingly - try to touch 'lil peanut. Not happening.
There have been a few times when I've had to endure a rant from a seemingly crazy person on the streetcar or in a store ("more coats...he needs more coats"). Getting unsolicited advice from strangers in general is kinda lame, but it is especially lame if the person makes no sense. Luckily, 'lil peanut is too small to figure out that the weirdo gesturing maniacally at his mom has some issues. Unluckily, he will continue to smile at them...essentially egging them on. I normally just smile in these situations and listen to the crazy (unless I'm in a hurry). I chalk it up to being out during the day in a big city. Not a big deal.
If you try to touch my kid...that's a whole 'nother story. I had a bit of a tantrum today in Starbucks. Embarassing, but whatever. There's a lady that I see walking around the neighbourhood sometimes. She appears to be what my Grandma would call "slow". She totally reminds me of Rosie O'Donnell in that Riding The Bus With My Sister movie, but with straight hair. She's spoken to me before once or twice, telling me she likes 'lil peanut's eyes and that I should buy him the Baby Bullet. Today, she went in to touch his face not once, not twice, but three times! Are you kidding me? I physically got in her way the last time, after politely asking her not to touch him, and she wasn't happy. God damn it, I hate awkward situations!
This isn't the first time I've had to deal with strangers trying to pat the 'lil peanut on the head or pinch his cheeks. It's normally old people that want to touch him, and I usually just walk away from them before they make contact, with a "gotta go". Today, I was in a tight space and waiting for my splurge Frappuccino to be concocted. No escape.
You might think I'm being weird or paranoid about this, but the last thing I need is my 'lil peanut getting Tuberculosis or even a cold because his mom is too polite to tell a stranger not to touch him. If I don't know you, you don't get to touch my kid. End of story. To the strangers in Starbucks who gave me looks for being mean to the mentally disabled lady, go fuck yourselves. I bet, if she tried to touch your kid, you'd hit her harder than Aaron Rome hit Nathan Horton. Thankfully, not too many people witnessed my little "incident", as Ron Sexsmith was also in Starbucks and a superfan was complimenting him at the same time. Thanks superfan!
I'm not into stereotyping, and by no means am I trying to paint all persons who have a mental illness or disability with the same brush. I've had some fantastic encounters with strangers who appear to have a mental disability - they've been really friendly and sweet to the 'lil peanut...and haven't tried to touch him...and he loves the attention. I've also had tons of positive interactions with street folks while walking the 'lil peanut. They normally give him a nod or say something like "God bless you little one".
So, to conclude, please don't touch babies that you see out on the town unless you know their parents. You might end up getting yelled at by a jerk like me.
XOXO,
Emily
Rosie pic via cbs.com
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