It's Tyra!!!! - ANTM Week 2

I had fun recapping ANTM last week, so I thought I'd make it a habit. I'm going to try to write a little recap of each episode this cycle. They won't be super-comprehensive, as I'm not planning to include all of the photos from panel. There are lots of blogs out there that write fantastic and comprehensive recaps of ANTM if that's what you're looking for (for example, tvgasm.com). But before you go check out another recap...enjoy my Tyra-heavy take.

First things first...

What did we learn about Tyra this week?
Tyra visited the girls' crib this week with her nutritionist, some giant chef hats and a terrible fake French accent. She introduced us to the concept of "cheaties"(word likely ™ by Tyra Banks Inc.), which are foods that seem bad but aren't. Tyra advises that "cheaties" are ok for models to occasionally indulge in.

Tyra staged a ridiculous contest where she blindfolded the girls and had them try two dishes. They then had to guess which one was the "cheatie" dish. This would be a good game if the two dishes were the same, like on that Eat, Shrink & Be Merry cooking show. This was not the case. The two different dishes were like peanut butter on a waffle vs. cream cheese on a bagel. Why were blindfolds even necessary? Oh...so Tyra could act a fool? I get it now!

The exercise was pretty much just filler, but we do learn that Tyra likes to order eggplant parmesan when she goes to Italian restaurants because it's a vegetable.

Tyra doesn't appear on screen again for like a half an hour! We see her next at panel, where she makes up for lost time. We get a couple of minutes of Tyra talking about Tyra, specifically that she is getting dressed on set because she is important and has a flight to catch. She is also apparently still trying to make "dreck" happen. Boo. Tyra later explains that, "a beauty shot doesn't mean beautiful, it just means a shot of yo face, ok?"

Tyra's Beauty Shot. Where's the smize™?

My bff, Andre Leon Talley, declares during panel that he wants to hang one of the girl's photos in his salon. We find out that Tyra does not have a salon and she asks ALT to buy her one. She asks, "where you get um? Swap meet?" Attention Drew Carey: if you are thinking of bringing back your improv show, you should for sure give Tyra a call. She's so great at improv.

Anna Wintour! Please come save me from this nonsense! Love, ALT

Tyra quote of the week: "If you're gonna fly like superman, honey, feel the wind in your eyes!"

Did anything else happen this week?

Honestly, not too much. One of my favourite girls, Ondrei, decided to leave the competition because she hadn't come to terms with the recent murder of her brother. I think it was mature of her to make that decision. She annouced that she was leaving at panel. Nigel was gracious and kind with her; Tyra was kind of a bitch about it. I hope that Ondrei comes back in a future cycle because she could win the whole competition.

Bye Ondrei!

There was some chicken-related drama in the house. Alexandria overreacted and let everyone know, repeatedly, that she knows about chicken and knows how to cook. Boring, boring. Alexandria now hates Dalya, who we find out has some mommy issues. 

The challenge this week is super lame. The girls meet with noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker and an acting coach, and are instructed to draw their "inner critic" on a big piece of cardstock with some markers. 

The girls then have to confront their respective inner critics, which is really just them yelling at the acting fella holding up their art. There is a bunch of crying and jibberjabber, and a sad moment Ondrei breaks down about her brother's death. Nigel declares them all winners and they get a necklace as a prize...plus a hug!

Best prize evah!!!

The photo shoot this week is a beauty shoot where the girls have to smize™ while being attacked by bees. 

Best photo shoot evah!!!

Is it just me, or do the photo shoots just keep getting more dangerous on this show in the name of "high fashion"? One of the girls has an allergy to bee stings, but she goes ahead with the shoot anyway. What's next Tyra? Doing a photo shoot with a honey badger?

At panel this week the guest judge is the adorable Alek Wek, who is an awesome supermodel. On a side note, I found it interesting that Tyra introduced her as having worked with everyone and specifically name-checked Dior and Galliano. I guess it was too late to edit the sound and sub in a less controversial designer. Anyways...Alek is awesome.

Other than Ondrei's departure and Tyra being Tyra, not much happens during panel. Tyra forgets her new catchphrase "fiercely real" and refers to Kasia as simply plus size this week. I like Kasia because she looks to me like a blonde Beth Ditto.

Nicole is sent home because she looks old. I think that they should have sent her home because this styling plus her smizing™ makes her look sorta like Gollum. She is a very pretty girl, so it's terrible that this photo is so bad. Shame on you Nicole! Shame on you Top Model!

Next week: makeovers! More lame Alexandria drama!

Goodnight Tyra! See you next week!
XOXO,
Emily

Gollum photo via empireonline.com