It's Tyra!!!! - ANTM Week 3

Ok...I'm just going to put it out there. This was officially the most boring makeover episode in the history of ANTM. This is the television equivalent of getting some dollar store tchotchkes from your parents for your birthday (which has happened to me...still love you mom and dad!). Disappointment city. Where was Tyra to introduce her inspirations for the makeover looks with a costume and crazy accent? Where  was Miss J trying on weaves and trying to pose like Tyra? Such a bummer! Let's work through it together, shall we?

First things first...

What did we learn about Tyra this week?
This episode was suprisingly low on Tyra!!! I have some theories. First, when she saw the footage of what the makeovers ended up looking like, she decided to keep a low profile so as not to get beaten up by Molly. They messed that poor thing up!

My other theory about this episode is that my bff, Andre Leon Talley, has a clause in his ANTM contract that allows for him to out-Tyra Tyra in one episode each cycle. As a result, this was the episode where Tyra was subdued and ALT was wacky. Most of what we learn about Tyra this week comes from the fabulous ALT: she smells nice ("no funk?" asked Tyra in one of her few attempts at funny this week); and that she used to try to upstage other models when posing with them in photos.

Enjoy your one week in the spotlight, ALT!

We indirectly learn a little something else about Tyra courtesy of Mr. Jay.  When Miss & Mr. Jay are talking to poor Molly after her makeover, Mr. Jay says:

I just want you to understand one thing. I mean, this is really Tyra's vision. She wanted you to have this look, and you've have to kinda treat Tyra as the client. Can you prove to the client that you can own that look.

What Jay is trying to say, Molly, is that, even when she is wrong and ridiculous, Tyra will cut you if you don't pretend she is right. To her credit, Molly keeps her mouth shut about how much she hates her weave until she leaves the salon.

Did anything else happen this week?

As I mentioned earlier, the reveal to the girls (and the viewers) that makeovers are happening is weak. The girls pull a rope in their apartment to unveil an overhead projector screen with some phrases written on it.

When the girls get to the salon, the Jays are there to introduce the beauty experts and then it's makeover time! Some girls get curls, some extentions, snooze snooze. Alexandria gets extentions and is rude to the staff at the salon.

Sara says goodbye to her rat tail by asking someone off camera "wanna lick it?" Tyra is giving her a short manly spiky cut. The rest of the makeovers are pretty meh, except for Britanni who looks super cute:

When the girls get home, most are flipping their hair around and feeling good. Poor Sara says she feels like "dirty Schmiegel" in the corner with her short hair.

Just don't do the same pose as Nicole did last week or you'll really look like Gollum my precious!

This week the girls do a couture shoot, in pairs. styled by Lori Goldstein. Most of the styling is very pretty - except Sara and Mikaela. They are made to look like the Molly's weave of couture styling.

Sad face.

During the shoot the pairs of Molly/Kasia and Britanni/Hannah do very well, Alexandria is bitchy (surprise) and Monique is bratty. Sara and Michaela do the best they can with their horror outfits. Dalya and Jaclyn do well in a 3 girl shot, but Dominique is thinking of nothing. When the girls get home, there is a short vignette of girls admitting they are scared of Alexandria and Alexandria being rude (surprise).

The girls go to panel and zzzzzz...oh, sorry, I dozed off for a bit there. Panel is crazy boring because Tyra is not allowed to be crazy this week. Even her outfit of a blazer, t-shirt, jeans and boots is surprisingly subdued! The judges deliberate and Dominique is sent home. She did have the worst pose this week.

The end! I hope you had fun being the funny one this week Andre!

Help Anna Wintour! I tried to out-funny Tyra and now she's angry! Love, ALT

Next week: The girls get lit on fire! There is a commercial for a Tyra-invented fake product!

XOXO
Emily