Kids are awesome and moms love their kids...but between the Raffi and the playdates and the nurturing and such, sometimes you need a quick break. Take a breather from the "mom (or dad) zone" for a few minutes. Put the baby in the crib, grab your tea, put your feet up and enjoy!
Oooooooeeeee...this week's episode was pure drekitude. It was the equivalent in drekitude of Alexandria's bonnet! I had high hopes, because this week we had much more Tyra than normal. Sadly, even Tyra's antics could not pick up the slack. Sigh.
Drekitude bonnet!!
The only thing that made up for this lackluster episode this week was Mr. Jay's big fashion show! Attitude for Sears! There were 3 former ANTM contestants (Danielle, McKey and Aminat) and 3 former Canada's Next Top Model contestants (Meghan, Linsay and Rebecca) walking in the show...plus Yasmine Warsame who judges CNTM. Overall, the show looked pretty fun. Much better than a typical ANTM runway challenge anyway.
On with the recap!
What did we learn about Tyra this week?
The main thing we learn about Tyra is that it makes her sad when folks on the internet make fun of her. Oh noes! I have been making fun of Tyra for weeks now!
...pointing out how terrible her panel outfits are, for example.
As Michael Kors would say, the crotch of that jumpsuit is just crazy!
Here's the thing, Tyra -- I am not an advocate for cyber-bullying by any means. It makes me mad when I read commenters on some blogs making fun of celebrities by calling them overweight, stupid or ugly. It's not nice and it's not something I support. I have no problem, however, making fun of a shameless narcissist who makes her money by promising young ladies successful modelling careers and not delivering. I have no problem making fun of someone who hosts an hour-long informercial about themselves disguised as a competition-based reality show. I have no problem poking fun at the antics of the self-righteous. Those types of people deserve to get called out. So, yeah, enough with the sermon...let the Tyra-centric chuckles re-commence!!
Tyra teaches the girls some very important things this week, namely how to sign an autograph. So vital Tyra! They will have so many autographs to sign once this cycle is over.
Do you want an autograph? Please? Come on...I was in Mr. Jay's show!
Tyra also teaches the girls some Spanish (did you know that "piel" means skin? Now you do!) and what the word archetype means. That's what paying your Harvard education forward is all about!
At Harvard, we autograph with a heart because it is classy.
Tyra at panel was pretty lackluster. It's like her grey drekitude pantsuit with the crazy crotch sucked the energy right out of her! Burn that pantsuit!
Did anything else happen this week?
We said goodbye (finally) to Molly's weave! Thank heavens! Interestingly, I may have figured out why Tyra assigned Molly that hideous hairstyle in the first place...because it covered up Molly's ugly tattoo.
The challenge this week was a meet and greet with paid actors fans of ANTM.
"We get scale for this, right?"
Kasia won for being the best at interacting with the little people. I'm sure she also had the best autograph, thanks to Tyra's insightful teachings. The prize this week is actually pretty good: dinner with Miss J at an upscale restaurant. Kasia chose Brittani and Jaclyn to join them. I think it would be pretty fun to hang out with Miss J, despite his dressing like Strawberry Shortcake's various pals all cycle.
This week: Blueberry Muffin
The losers of the challenge have to clean up the "fan mess", which looks like it was actually created by production assistants. Monique is grumpy about having to clean and swears and swears. Looks like she will not be a Covergirl anytime soon, as we learned last week that Covergirls do not swear.
The loser girls eat bologna sandwiches on the bus while Miss J and the winners eat some pan-asian foods. Molly actually makes me chuckle a bit when she calls out Kasia for picking two boring girls to go to dinner. It would have been pretty funny to see how Alexandria would have handled herself at dinner. Miss J seems to have fun regardless. He gives the girls some decent advice and they all eat too!
The photo shoot is a complete snooze. They cover the girls in mud, and photograph them in groups of 4 (blondes vs. brunettes). Nothing remotely interesting happens, and Alexandria gets called out again for trying to direct the other girls. The photos turn out just meh.
At panel this week, Tyra introduces Nigel as "sexy hot photographer Nigel Barker". Why is he no longer a noted fashion photographer? Did something happen?
Guest judge is beautiful model Sonia Dara. She looks great but doesn't really add anything to the proceedings. I do love her dress very much, so there's that.
The best part of the judges' deliberation was when Tyra brought up Alexandria's outfit that she wore to panel. My bff, Andre Leon Talley, asks what was up with her tassle belt and her bonnet. Tyra makes her take both off before she's allowed to take her photo from Tyra's hands and stay in the competition.
The bonnet that is eliminated must immediately pack their bags...
The judges liked the Brunettes' photo the best, and thought that Brittani had the top photo. ALT was allowed to make a joke this week, and says that the Blondes' photo looks like a billboard on the 405 highway. Mikaela and Monique are the bottom 2, and Monique is sent home. I think that they made the right call, as Monique looks more like a soap opera actor than a model. Her soundbites were sometimes good for a chuckle, so hopefully Molly will give us more funny in coming episodes. Best of luck Monique!
Next week: Brittani vs. Alexandria! Brittani meltdown at panel! See you then!
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