It's Tyra!!!! - ANTM Week 8

"At Harvard, this is the highest grade. I get this on all my papers..."

Hello, hello...week 8 already! Let's get right to it!


What did we learn about Tyra this week?
Same old shit, sadly. Tyra brags about Tyra ("I booked 25 fashion shows in Paris off of 1...2...3 photos") and does some fake accents (Swedish and Valley Girl). Only one real snippet of knowledge about Tyra this week: we learn that she stuffs her boots with legwarmers because her calves are too thin.

Tyra spouts some nonsense about putting together a portfolio that is pretty much common sense. For example, you should start with a picture that shows your face and should not include ugly photos.

Tyra is apparently still pissed off about last week's judge's revolt, because she makes the models do a word scramble to announce their international destination. They have trouble, as you would expect. After some time, the girls figure out they will be travelling to Morocco. Tyra apparently loves the markets and spices there. Morocco is so hot right now. It's even my 'lil peanut's middle name. For serious. That, my friends, is a story for another time. Maybe if next week's episode is as boring as this one...

My favourite part of this whole scene is that Tyra holds up a letter C to announce the word scramble, and the girls assume that they are going somewhere that begins with a C. They also don't put together that it is a 7-letter place name. Jaclyn thinks they will be going to Cuba or China. Alexandria, in her bonnet no less, guesses the destination as Canada, and says the word like they would be travelling to a garbage dump or something.

Keep your raggedy bonnet out of Canada!

Speaking of, Tyra continues her campaign of photoshoot terror by making the girls do their shoot this week at a garbage dump. That is just nasty.

Did anything else happen this week?
On the way to attend Harvard guest lecturer Tyra's portfolio masterclass, Brittani apologizes to Alexandria for last week's antics. It doesn't seem entirely sincere, but hopefully that's the end of the drama for awhile.

Back at the house, Jaclyn tells us that she feels that she is improving each week and is confident. Dum-de dum-dum dum!!

Nice to know you sweetie!

The next morning, the girls are greeted by Ron Johnson from A Different World, who is wearing contacts and is now an agent for IMG models.

Ron Johnson tells the girls about their go-see challenge. They will have 4 hours to attend 4 go-sees, and will be provided with a car and driver. They will all meet at Lana Marks after the 4 hours are up, and the top 3 girls will get to have the ultimate go-see with Lana. Now that the girls understand the uber-important concept of archetypes, they must pack clothing to represent 4 archetypes, as each go-see is looking for a specific one.

...and they're off! The go-sees are pretty much snooze city. Jaclyn and Brittani struggle with directions. The only go-see that's any fun is the "athletic archetype" go-see. Only Molly and Alexandria make it, and neither followed Ron Johnson's instruction to pack appropriate clothes. Molly ends up rolling up her top and running around in her nude underwears...

Who doesn't love running in no pants?

...and Alexandria goes back to her car to grab a swimsuit. Alexandria gets quote of the week this week:"I run outside and took my pants down. I was wearing a thong so it's not like I was embarrassing myself."

...no, but you did just embarrass that poor lady.

This is the first cycle that I can remember where all of the girls make it back from their go-sees on time! Nice work! Ron Johnson is happy. The top 3 are Alexandria, Molly and Kasia, with Alexandria winning the big prize of an international Lana Marks campaign and a goody bag. Lana tells the camera that Molly was better but looked too grumpy when it wasn't her turn to pose. Ron Johnson tells Hannah that she was meh, and Jaclyn and Brittani suck for only attending 2 go-sees. This is not good news for them, as Tyra warned earlier in the episode that the go-sees will have a big impact on who is sent home this week.

When we get to the dump for the photo shoot, Nigel and Jay introduce us to Michael Cinqo, a designer who has created specific dresses for this eco-friendly shoot. He says that he has taken materials like broken glass and recycled them to look like expensive jewels.

"I also recycled Yoko Ono's sunglasses, and recycled some makeup from one of your Covergirl challenges"

Sorry to do this, but here's a quick rant about how eco un-friendly these dresses are. No mention is made of the designer recycling any fabrics. He uses yards and yards and yards of fabric for each dress, and it appears to be some sort of shiny synthetic fabric...likely a heavily-processed oil by-product. The dyes used to make such fabrics are horrible for the environment. If ANTM really wanted to commission eco-friendly dresses, why didn't they go for shorter dresses made from a natural fabric, or even properly re-purpose some dresses? Worst of all, Michael Cinqo's dresses are not practical or wearable in any way, and will likely end up a landfill such as the one used in this shoot very soon. I'm pretty sick of ANTM pretending to be eco-conscious. Hey Tyra, how much of that landfill is comprised of the excess wasteful packaging that Covergirl makeup comes in? Shame!!!

Ok...that's it for the ranting, I promise. The shoot is dull. Hannah, Kasia and Jaclyn struggle, Alexandria & Brittani do well, and Nigel notices Molly's rotten attitude and bitch face. Mr. Jay gets pooped on by birds. Nigel and Brittani have a chat before her shoot and we find out that, while Brittani and Alexandria may not be best friends, they do have one thing in common...

"Another bonnet? Oh no!"

Back at the house, Molly talks about how she is amazing and will for sure be going to Morocco. Wow, Molly is the new recipient of the "bad-girl" edit this season. This to me smells like the producers trying to make Molly seem like less of a front-runner. Like in Caridee's season when there was all that drama about her telling Nigel to take the stick out of his butt. She still won...and I'm thinking that Molly will make the top 3 at least.

...as long as she takes off her grumpy pants.

Time for panel. I love the first panel scene because my bff Andre Leon Talley scolds Tyra on her ugly outfit and makes her change. Too bad her second outfit is just as fugly.

Lana Marks is the guest judge this week. She is a great designer, but she is not the best guest judge. She comes across as stern and old-fashioned. For example, she rips into Jaclyn for not going to all of her go-sees. Ok...obviously Jaclyn has seen past cycles of ANTM and witnessed how much trouble girls get in when they are late. Sucks she only went to 2, but still...she doesn't deserve your lecture, Debbie-Downer.

When it's Molly's turn before the panel, they all give her a hard time about her attitude. They repeat a couple of times that she would have won the challenge had she been more pleasant to Lana, which leads to this awesome shot:

Wipe off that grimace, Alexandria...you have best picture this week. She did the best on the go-sees, so that makes sense. Bottom 2 this week are Molly and Jaclyn...which is interesting because Molly did way better than Brittani on the go-sees. Hmmm...manufactured drama? Anywho, Jaclyn is sent home and Molly shows some humility when she gets her photo from Tyra's hands. Bye Jaclyn!

Next week: Morocco! Monkeys! Camels! Molly has not yet taken off her grumpy pants! Alexandria's bonnet gets to travel to Morocco!

XOXO,
Emily